*       Yo mama's so stupid that under "Education" on her job application, she put "Hooked on Phonics."

*       Yo mama's so stupid when she asked me what kind of jeans I wore, I said Guess and she said "Ah Levi's?"

*       Yo mama's so stupid, at bottom of application where it says Sign Here - she put Sagittarius.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, her idea of safe sex is locking the car doors.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, her shirt says TGIF- tits go in first.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, her shoes say TGIF- toes go in front.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, I saw her in the frozen food section with a fishing rod.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, I saw her walking down the street yelling into an envelope, asked what she was doing, and she said sending a voice mail.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, I taught her how to do the running man and I haven't seen the bitch since.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, I told her Christmas was just around the corner and she went looking for it.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, if brains were dynamite, she wouldn't have enough to blow her nose.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, if brains were gas she wouldn't have enough to power a flea-mobile around the inside of a Fruit Loop.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, if you gave her a penny for her intelligence you'd get change.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, it takes her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, it takes her an hour to cook minute rice.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, on her job application where it says emergency contact she put 911.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she asked for a price check at the dollar store.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she asked you "What is the number for 911".

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she bought a video camera to record cable TV shows at home.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she called the 7-11 to see when they closed.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she can't make Jello because she can't fit 2 quarts of water in the box.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she cooked her own complimentary breakfast.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she couldn't tell which way an elevator was going if I gave her two guesses.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she died before the police arrived because she couldn't find the "11" button in "9-1-1"

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she fell up the stairs.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she gave your uncle a blowjob 'cause he said it'd help his unemployment.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she got a part time job painting skittles.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she got fired from a blow-job.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she got hit by a cup and told the police that she got mugged.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she got shot running to the border after seeing a Taco Bell commercial.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she had Dan Quayle check her spelling.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she invented a solar powered flashlight.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she jumped out the window and went up.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she married Yo daddy.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she needed a tutor to learn how to scribble.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she ordered a cheese burger from McDonald's and said "Hold the cheese."

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she ordered her sushi well done.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she put a peephole in a glass door.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for a gum ball to come out.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she put a ruler on her pillow to see how long she slept.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she put on a coat to chew winterfresh gum.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she ran out of gas leaving Texaco.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she said "what's that letter after x" and I said Y she said "Cause I want to know".

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she sold the car for gas money.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she sold the house to pay the mortgage.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she stands up on an empty bus.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she studied for a blood test and failed.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks a 17 inch Admiral is a well hung sailor.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks a sanitary belt is drinking a shot out of a clean glass.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Christmas Wrap is Snoop Dogg's holiday album.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Johnny Cash is a pay toilet!

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks sexual battery is something in a dildo.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks socialism means partying!

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks stereotype is the brand on her clock-radio.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican Phone Company.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Tiger Woods is a forest.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she thought a lawsuit was something you wear to court.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she thought a quarterback was a refund.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she thought asphalt was a skin disease.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she thought Boyz2Men was a daycare center.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she thought Chubby Checkers was a game for fat people.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she thought Delta Airlines was a sorority.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she thought hamburger helper came with another person.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she thought menopause was a button on the VCR.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she thought meow mix was a record for cats.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she thought she could get food stamps at the post office.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she thought Sherlock Holmes was a housing project.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she thought Thailand was a men's clothing store.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she thought the board of education was a piece of wood.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she thought the Internet was something you catch fish with.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she told everyone that she was "illegitimate" because she couldn't read.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she took lessons for a player piano.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jiff.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to drop acid but the car battery fell on her foot.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to drown a fish.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to drown herself in a carpool.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to insult you and started with "Yo mama's so..."

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to mail a letter with food stamps.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to melt squeeze Parkay.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to steal a free sample.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to strangle herself with a cordless phone.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to throw a bird off a cliff.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to wake up a sleeping bag.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she tripped over a cordless phone.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she used a vibrator for an egg beater.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she was locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she was on the corner giving out potato chips yellin' "Free Lays!"

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she went on Double Dare and when they asked her name she said "I think I'll take the physical challenge."

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she went to a Clippers game to get a hair cut.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she went to a Whalers game to see Shamu.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she went to Dr. Dre for a pap smear.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she went to the Gap to get her teeth fixed.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she wiped her ass before she took a shit.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, she wouldn't know up from down if she had three guesses.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, the bitch snuck on the bus and paid to get off.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, the first time she used a vibrator, she cracked her two front teeth.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, they had to burn the school down to get her out of 3rd grade.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, when asked on an application, "Sex?", she marked, "M, F, and sometimes Wednesday too."

*       Yo mama's so stupid, when her husband lost his marbles she bought him new ones.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, when I asked her if she wanted to play one on one, she said "Ok, but what's the teams?"

*       Yo mama's so stupid, when I gave her a dollar and asked for a quater back, she gave me Dan Marino.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, when she heard 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, when she pulls up to a flashing red light it sounds like this... Vroom, Screech, Vroom, Screech.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line, she put "O.K."

*       Yo mama's so stupid, when she saw a "Wrong Way" sign in her rearview mirror, she turned around.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, when she saw the "NC-17 (Under 17 Not Admitted)" sign, she went home and got 16 friends.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, when she took you to the airport and a sign said "Airport Left," she turned around and went home.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, when she went by the YMCA she said "Hey, they spelled Macy's wrong."

*       Yo mama's so stupid, when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, when she worked at McDonald's and someone ordered small fries, she said "Hey Boss, all the small one's are gone."

*       Yo mama's so stupid, when someone said "Take the trash out," she moved.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, when the judge said "Order in the court," she said "I'll have a hamburger and a Coke."

*       Yo mama's so stupid, when they said they were playing craps she went and got toilet paper.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, you can make her eyes twinkle by shining light in her ears.

*       Yo mama's so stupid, you can tell when she's used the computer because there's White Out all over the screen.

*       Yo mama's so fat and old that when God said "Let there be Light", he told her to move her fat ass out of the way.

*       Yo mama's so fat n black, she jumped in the ocean and they thought she was an oil spill.

*       Yo mama's so fat that she has TB... two bellies.

*       Yo mama's so fat, "Place Your Ad Here" is printed on each of her butt cheeks.

*       Yo mama's so fat, a picture of her fell off the wall!

*       Yo mama's so fat, after she got off the carousel, the horse limped for a week.

*       Yo mama's so fat, all of her clothes have to be custom made by a contractor.

*       Yo mama's so fat, all the chairs in her house have seat belts.

*       Yo mama's so fat, all the restaurants in town have signs that says: "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Mama"

*       Yo mama's so fat, and her back is so crooked, when she lays down...people say "I didn't know we had mountains."

*       Yo mama's so fat, and you're so poor, when she comes in your house the tires pop.

*       Yo mama's so fat, at the zoo, the elephants started throwing her peanuts.

*       Yo mama's so fat, but I fucked her anyway.

*       Yo mama's so fat, Dr. Martens had to kill 3 cows just to make her a pair of shoes.

*       Yo mama's so fat, even God couldn't raise her spirits.

*       Yo mama's so fat, even her shadow has stretch marks.

*       Yo mama's so fat, even Richard Simmons laughs at her.

*       Yo mama's so fat, every time she wears high heels, she strikes oil.

*       Yo mama's so fat, God created her, and on the seventh day he rested.

*       Yo mama's so fat, her ass has it's own congressman.

*       Yo mama's so fat, her ass looks like two pigs fighting over a milk dud.

*       Yo mama's so fat, her belly button doesn't have lint, it has sweaters.

*       Yo mama's so fat, her belly jiggle is the first ever perpetual motion machine.

*       Yo mama's so fat, her belt size is the equator.

*       Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu.

*       Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is rocky-road.

*       Yo mama's so fat, her car is made of spandex.

*       Yo mama's so fat, her car is made out of spandex.

*       Yo mama's so fat, her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.

*       Yo mama's so fat, her college graduation picture was an aerial.

*       Yo mama's so fat, her driver's license says "Picture continued on other side."

*       Yo mama's so fat, her favorite blouse is a tent.

*       Yo mama's so fat, her nickname is "Damn."

*       Yo mama's so fat, her picture takes two frames.

*       Yo mama's so fat, her skates went flat.

*       Yo mama's so fat, her tailor takes her measurements in light years.

*       Yo mama's so fat, her yearbook picture is an aerial.

*       Yo mama's so fat, I gain weight just by watching her eat.

*       Yo mama's so fat, I gotta take three steps back just to see all of her.

*       Yo mama's so fat, I had to roll over twice to get off of her.

*       Yo mama's so fat, I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side.

*       Yo mama's so fat, I ran around her twice and got lost.

*       Yo mama's so fat, I saw a picture of her in a magazine on page 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8.

*       Yo mama's so fat, I saw her in New York, and when I told my friend in LA, he'd seen her too.

*       Yo mama's so fat, I shot the bitch and Crisco came out.

*       Yo mama's so fat, if she got her shoes shined, she'd have to take his word for it!

*       Yo mama's so fat, if she wears fishnet stockings, they'd better be 50 pound test!

*       Yo mama's so fat, if she weighed five more pounds, she could get group insurance!

*       Yo mama's so fat, if she were an airplane, she'd be a jumbo jet.

*       Yo mama's so fat, instead of Levi's 501 jeans, she wears Levi's 1002's.

*       Yo mama's so fat, instead of wide leg jeans, she wears wide load.

*       Yo mama's so fat, I've got to tell two snaps just to cover her fat ass.

*       Yo mama's so fat, Jenny Craig did a credit check.

*       Yo mama's so fat, last time she went to Sea World Shamu got a hard on.

*       Yo mama's so fat, NASA is going to use her to fill the hole in the ozone layer.

*       Yo mama's so fat, NASA orbits satellites around her.

*       Yo mama's so fat, no one can talk behind her back.

*       Yo mama's so fat, on a scale of 1 to 10, she's a 747.

*       Yo mama's so fat, one day she was lifting up her rolls and a car fell out.

*       Yo mama's so fat, one day when she got in a fight the person fighting her got lost in her.

*       Yo mama's so fat, people jog around her for exercise.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she ain't on a diet, she's on a triet... She be like "What y'all eating? I'll try it!"

*       Yo mama's so fat, she broke her leg and gravy dripped out.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she bungee jumped and went straight to hell.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she can lay down and stand up and her height doesn't change.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she can't just work one corner, she has to work all four.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she can't lose weight, only find it.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she can't reach her back pocket.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she can't stay on a basketball court for three seconds without getting called for a key violation.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she can't tie her own shoes.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she can't wear Daisy Dukes. She has to wear Boss Hoggs.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she could go a week without eating and still not lose weight.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she could sell shade.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she DJ's for the ice cream truck.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she don't eat Wheat Thins, she eats Wheat Thicks.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she don't know whether she's walking or rolling.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she don't wear a G-String, she wears an A, B, C, D, E, F, G-String.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she eats biscuits like tic tacs.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she eats cereal out of a satellite dish.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she eats pumpkin pies like Skittles.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she fell in love and broke it.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she fell in the Grand Canyon and got stuck.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she fell off a boat and the captain yelled "Land Ho!"

*       Yo mama's so fat, she fills up the bath tub, and then she turns on the water.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she gets clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us!

*       Yo mama's so fat, she gets her toenails painted at Earl Schieb's.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she gets runs in her jeans.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu, and says "Okay."

*       Yo mama's so fat, she got hit by a truck and asked "Who threw that rock?"

*       Yo mama's so fat, she had to roll over 4 times just to get an even tan.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she has 48 midnight snacks.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she has a greater gravitational attraction than a black hole.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she has her own area code.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she has more nooks and crannies than a Thomas' English Muffin.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she has to buy two airline tickets.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she has to get out of the car to change gears.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she has to get out of the car to change the radio station.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she has to grease her hands to get into her pockets.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she has to iron her pants on the driveway.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she has to keep pesos in one pocket and yen in the other.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she has to pull down her pants to get into her pockets.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she has to put her belt on with a boomerang.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she has to use a lawn chair instead of a Thigh Master.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she has to use sleeping bags for tube socks.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she has two stomachs: One for meat, one for vegetables.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she jumped for joy and got stuck.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she jumped in the ocean and the ocean jumped back and said "I'll wait my turn."

*       Yo mama's so fat, she jumped in the ocean and the whales started singing "We are family!"

*       Yo mama's so fat, she jumped up in the air and got stuck.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she leaves stretch marks on the bathtub.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagen.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she looks like the Stay-Puff marshmallow man on steroids.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she made Richard Simmons cry.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she made weight watchers go blind.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she makes Big Bird look like a rubber duck.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she makes Free Willy look like a Tic-Tac.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she makes sumo wrestlers look anorexic.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she masturbates reading cookbooks.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she measures 36 24 36, and the other arm is just as big.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she needs a road map to find her ass.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she plays hopscotch like this: LA, Detroit, Seattle, NY.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she plays pool with the planets.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she pulls up a chair to an all-u-can-eat buffet.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she sat in Big Foot and made it a lowrider.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she sat on a dollar and made change.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she sat on a rowing machine and it sank.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she sat on an Oreo and unlocked the magic.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she sat on four quarters and made a dollar.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she sat on the corner and the police came & said "Break it up!"

*       Yo mama's so fat, she shops for clothes in the local tent shop.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she shows up on radar.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she smells like bacon at 90 degrees.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a scale and she saw her phone number.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it said "Please step out of the car."

*       Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it told her "Sorry, we don't do livestock."

*       Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it told her to "Get the fuck off."

*       Yo mama's so fat, she stood in front of the Hollywood sign and it just said H d.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she tried to get an all-over tan, and the sun burned out.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she uses a kiddie slide for a shoe horn.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she uses a mattress for a maxi-pad.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she uses a pillow case as a sock.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she uses blanket as a washcloth.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she uses diet soap.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she uses hula hoops to hold up her socks.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she uses the carpet as a blanket.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she wakes up in sections.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her as a new world.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she was in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade... wearing ropes.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she wears a hula-hoop for a belly-button ring.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she wears a VCR for a beeper.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she wears a watch on each arm, one for each time zone.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she wears an asteroid belt.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she went on a light diet... As soon as it's light she starts eating.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she went on a seafood diet... Whenever she saw food she ate it.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she went to a Chinese Restaurant and ordered a 40oz. of gravy.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she went to sit down and the chair begged for mercy.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she went to Sizzler and got a group discount.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she's 36-24-36... but that's her forearm, neck, and thigh!

*       Yo mama's so fat, she's 36-24-36... but that's in feet.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she's got Amtrak tattooed on her leg.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she's got her own zip code.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she's got smaller fat women orbiting around her.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she's half Indian, half Irish, and half American.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she's moving the Earth out of its orbit.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she's not kidding when she says "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse!"

*       Yo mama's so fat, she's on both sides of the family.

*       Yo mama's so fat, she's taller lying down.

*       Yo mama's so fat, the animals at the zoo feed her.

*       Yo mama's so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot-dogs.

*       Yo mama's so fat, the body snatchers called home for backup.

*       Yo mama's so fat, the earth orbits around her instead of the sun.

*       Yo mama's so fat, the highway patrol made her wear a "Caution! Wide Turn" sign.

*       Yo mama's so fat, the horse on her Jordache jeans is real.

*       Yo mama's so fat, the horse on her Polo shirt is real.

*       Yo mama's so fat, the last time she saw 90210 she was on a scale.

*       Yo mama's so fat, the only thing she can fit into at the clothing store is the dressing rooms.

*       Yo mama's so fat, the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the door.

*       Yo mama's so fat, the shadow of her ass weighs 50 pounds.

*       Yo mama's so fat, the telephone company gave her two area codes.

*       Yo mama's so fat, they call her "Big Fat Ho."

*       Yo mama's so fat, they changed my Physics book to say "What goes up must come down, except Yo mama."

*       Yo mama's so fat, they had to baptize her at Sea World.

*       Yo mama's so fat, they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through.

*       Yo mama's so fat, they had to install speed bumps at the all-u-can-eat buffet.

*       Yo mama's so fat, they have to run a relay race to get her belt through her belt loops.

*       Yo mama's so fat, they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping.

*       Yo mama's so fat, they used her for a trampoline at the Olympics.

*       Yo mama's so fat, we got her in the drive-in free by dressing her as a Chevy.

*       Yo mama's so fat, we're inside her right now.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when her beeper went off, people thought she was backing up.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when I climbed up on top of her, I burned my ass on the light bulb.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when I finished having sex with her and tried to roll off, I was still on her.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when I have sex with her I have to slap her ass and ride the wave in.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when I said I wanted "Pigs in a blanket" she got back in bed.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when I tried to drive around her, I ran out of gas.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when I tried to fuck her I didn't know if I was hitting the hole or a roll.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when I was done I rolled over, over again, and I was still on top of the bitch.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when I yell "Kool-Aid," she comes crashing through the wall.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when it says all-u-can-eat it still ain't enough.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when my dog went to fuck her he had to peel too many fat rolls and said "Fuck It."

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she auditioned for a part in "Indiana Jones," she got the part as the big rolling ball.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she backs up she beeps.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she bends over we go into daylight savings time.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she brought her dress to the cleaners, they said "Sorry, we don't do curtains."

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she comes down the stairs she measures on the Richter scale.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she crosses the street, cars look out for her.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she dances, she makes the band skip.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she fart the whole planet came out.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she fell down the stairs, she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she fills up the tub, she fills up the tub.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she gets on the scale it says "To be continued."

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she gets out of the car, she leaves stretch marks.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, she even orders "Thank You, Come Again."

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to the beach, little kids yell "Free Willy, Free Willy."

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to the circus she sees the big top and asks "Where can I try that on?"

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to the circus she takes up all the rings.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she got on the bus she turned it into a low rider.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she hauls ass, she has friends come help.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she leaves the beach everybody shouts "The coast is clear."

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she opens the refrigerator, it says "I give up!"

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she ordered a "My Size Meal" at McDonald's they gave her a dinosaur.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she ordered a "My Size Meal" at McDonald's they gave her the key to the store.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she played hide-n-go-seek, she hid behind a water tower.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she plays football she play offense and defense.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she plays football she plays the interior line.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she put on some BVD's by the time they reached her waist they spelled "BouleVarD."

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she runs she makes the CD player skip... at the radio station.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she sat on a rainbow, Skittle's fell out.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she saw a yellow bus going down the road she yelled "Hey! Stop that Twinkie."

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she sits in a chair, the rolls on her legs, cover her feet like a blanket.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she stepped on a train track, the warning lights went on.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she steps on a scale, it says "One at a time, please."

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she swims, she leaves stretch marks on the swimming pool.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she takes a shower, her feet don't get wet.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she tiptoes, everyone yells "Stampede!"

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she travels, she's gotta make two trips.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she volunteered to clean cages at the zoo, people walked by and said "Look at the elephant!"

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she walks across the living room, the radio skips.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she walks down the street everyone yells "Earthquake!"

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she walks down the street, you can hear her hips saying to each other "If you let me by, I'll let you pass."

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she walks in front of the T.V., you miss 5 minutes of your show.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she was born, she didn't get a birth certificate, she got blue prints.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease, the doctor gave her 5 years to live.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she was walking in her jeans I swear I smelled something burning.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she wears a purple sweater people call her "Barney."

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she wears a red dress people yell "Hey Kool-Aid Man."

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, kids think its the school bus.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, people call her "Taxi!"

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she wears corduroy pants, the ridges don't show.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she wears heels, they're flats by the afternoon.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she went to a dating service, they matched her up with Detroit.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she went to get a water bed, they put a blanket across Lake Michigan.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she went to the beach Greenpeace tried to drag her ass back in the water.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she went to the Rose Parade they thought she was a float.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she wore a shirt with an AA on it, people thought it was American Airlines biggest jet.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when she works at the movie theater, she works as the screen.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when the cashier at KFC asked what size bucket she wanted, she said the one on the roof.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when the police showed her a picture of her feet, she couldn't identify them.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when yo father fell in love with her he got lost.

*       Yo mama's so fat, when your father mounts her, his ears pop.

*       Yo mama's so fat, Yo father didn't know whether to fuck her or take the burro ride down.

*       Yo mama's so fat, you can pinch an inch on her forehead.

*       Yo mama's so fat, you can smack it up, flip it, and rub it down all at the same time.

*       Yo mama's so fat, you can't even see her legs, it just looks like she's gliding across the floor.

*       Yo mama's so fat, you could go swimming in her bra.

*       Yo mama's so fat, your daddy had to roll her in flower and look for the wet spot.

View All Yo Mamma Jokes

*       Yo mama's so old, her memory is in black and white.

*       Yo mama's so old, I told her to act her age and the bitch died.

*       Yo mama's so old, Jurassic Park brought back memories.

*       Yo mama's so old, she DJ'd at the Boston Tea Party.

*       Yo mama's so old, she drove a chariot to high school.

*       Yo mama's so old, she has a Jesus Starter jacket.

*       Yo mama's so old, she has all the apostles in her black book.

*       Yo mama's so old, she needed a walker when Jesus was still in diapers.

*       Yo mama's so old, she owes Fred Flintstone a food stamp.

*       Yo mama's so old, she took her drivers test on a dinosaur.

*       Yo mama's so old, she used to baby-sit Yoda.

*       Yo mama's so old, she used to gang bang with the Flintstone's.

*       Yo mama's so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.

*       Yo mama's so old, she's got hieroglyphics on her driver's license.

*       Yo mama's so old, the key on Ben Franklin's kite was to her apartment.